Communication, money and the heartache that both can cause

The two biggest issues that can plague even the best marriages are communication and finances. I will cover three aspects of both that can save you endless trouble.

If you have ever heard of the book "men are from Mars women are from Venus" then you know that while the name sounds wacky there is a lot of truth in it. The fact that Men and women don't operate the same way goes without saying, but guys often wonder what makes women tick? While the answer to that is going to vary, it has been my experience that women thrive on stability. A lack of stability or a perceived lack of stability is going to be an issue in any marriage. 

Common Goal

• As Men it is our duty to be the provider for our families. If asked most men would say that being able to provide for their family is one of the single most important things they can do. That being said the needs of women for stability and the needs for the man to be able to provide are actually much more closely related than they might otherwise appear. This is a point I never understood until I got married and one that took many arguments to truly sink in. 

Communication is key

• I as the leader of my family was in control of the finances. I had things in control a majority of the time but I didn’t always keep my wife in the loop. We had large amounts of debt when we first got married and while we got by every month there were many fight over money. I did not take the time to explain our situation to my wife and involve her in the weekly and monthly budgets. It was not that I was trying to keep things from her I honestly didn’t think she cared and I didn't want to stress her out. My intentions, good as they were, completely backfired on me and left my wife feeling neglected and controlled. 

What is a budget if not a plan for your money? 

• I am a spender by nature and saving does not come easy to me. My idea of budgeting was spend money till it’s gone then go without till I got paid again. It was my responsibility as the leader to manage the budget. Unfortunately this was something that I never bothered to do when I was single so naturally it didn't happen easily when I got married. 

If you are single then start living on a budget now because the longer you wait the harder it will be. If you are married and don’t live on a budget then sit down with your wife and go over the budget together. Create a weekly or bi-weekly budget depending on how often you get paid and keep each other accountable. My wife and I have budget meeting every week to go over how we are doing and see where we stand. I manage the budget but by communicating with her she knows where we stand every week and can take solace in that fact.